In my dream, Deb and I are off somewhere -- I think doing shopping -- but I find myself in some need to get some cash. Not a desperate need, but it would be helpful to replenish my in-pocket cash supply.
The building where we are is clean enough, but feels like some kind of building loaded with big mechanical stuff -- much of it located overhead. The light is perfectly adequate here, but aloft, it's hard to make out the details of the machinery. We can walk around comfortably, but the machinery is never far away. Overhead and on either side.
I guess I tried using my credit card in an ATM or something similar to get the cash I wanted, but something happens about this and the cash is not forthcoming. Something's not working. This requires me to talk to someone who's operating in an official capacity.
The guy (now known as "Guy 1") is a big man in a dark suit. I explain the situation to him and he frowns and tells me that I have to take the situation up with his boss (now known as "Guy 2").
He and I walk some distance through the building and find Guy 2 in his office. (Deb seems to have disappeared by this time.) As opposed to Guy 1, this fellow is slender, younger, looks as if he keeps himself fit, and he takes too much time making sure his hair is perfect. His suit fits beautifully and is immaculate.
As we walk into Guy 2's office, he is sitting at a horribly garish electric "piano." It's covered with gingerbread decorations, and the keyboard is almost difficult to find under all the decorations. He is plinking out a tune with one finger -- I think it might have been "Here Comes the Bride."
He gets up from the piano and turns around to face us. He gives me this ingratiating (read "smarmy") smile and holds out his hand. He asks me "What can I do for you?" or something similar.
Guy 1 explains the situation to Guy 2. Guy 2 nods and smiles again as if he understands exactly what's happened and how he (Guy 2) can remedy the situation.
As Guy 2 explains to me, all I have to do is X, which sounds pretty simple and not completely out of the question for me to do. Then he can do his part to fix the problem. But the tone in his voice, his facial expressions make it clear to me that he also expects a considerable expression of gratitude to him (Guy 2) coming from me as and after he completes the things he has to do to enable me to get my money.
I find this objectionable and express somehow to him that I have no intention of showing that level of gratitude and thanks. I feel he should simply do this thing to help me just because he should do this thing. It's inappropriate for him to expect groveling from me.
I tell him if that's the basis for him doing what he needs to do, then just don't bother. He's annoyed and tries to convince me that he's wonderful for granting me this favor.
Now, I don't absolutely need the cash. It would be nice to have but nothing more. So I stand firm. He keeps trying to get some expression of gratitude from me -- again and again. When I'm convinced that he's just not going to do his thing unless I surrender, I walk out.
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WHAT DOES ALL THIS MEAN?
Unlike my previous "Bad Dreams" (which I continue not to understand), I fairly quickly applied an interpretation to the dream:
Guy 2 is the God that I keep reading about in the assigned readings from The School of the Spirit. So many writers in these readings gush (sorry, tough word, but that's where I'm at just now) at the manifold blessings that God has bestowed on them. And that they are delighted to have surrendered to him (God) and want to live always in the shelter of His protective shadow. And that their sole ambition in life is to do His will.
(Historical note: the time during which I write this, I am working to construct a framework for my God. My understanding of God. I'm stuck at the moment between an all-covering/understanding/powerful/demanding God and the Tao. Neither image settles well within me anymore.
So I am "reading" my dream as a confrontation with that all-everything God, and reading Guy 1 as being a minister or priest or some such who is a disciple to that God.
It makes sense to me that Deb should disappear from the dream when she does, since my quest, my journey is obviously a one-person trip.
Given the clarity of feeling I have about this interpretation, I'm wondering if my previous Bad Dreams were something of a warm-up exercise, and that future Bad Dream (which I'm pretty sure are coming!) will maintain that clarity.
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