Still on vacation with Frank and J-M. Last entry from that trip.
In my dream, I'm in a gymnasium locker room changing clothes to get ready to work out or play a game or something (it's not clear in the dream what the intended activity is to be). There are a considerable number of other guys in the locker room who are also changing into workout gear. I feel I am roughly same age as all these other people, but it's not clear whether we are teenagers or full adults. I don't think we're creaky old people...
Some of the guys have completed the clothes change and are headed off to wherever it is we're supposed to go to. (Oh, and it's not at all clear as to whether we're headed for the same event -- like a team game -- or an individual activity. It's quite possible some of us are going to this and some of us are going to that.)
I think I'm behind in changing clothes, and I'm struggling to get ready. Then at one point, I feel I'm properly dressed to get on with the activity/activities, but I look at my feet to see that my socks don't match -- and neither one of them looks remotely like workout gear. One of them is fuzzy and has multicolored banding and the other is a thinner, black "dress sock" type.
The socks would do their job of protecting my feet from blistering via the sneakers, but I'm concerned that I would get laughed at and teased by the other guys if I showed up wearing these unmatched and inappropriate socks.
I think I know how I can resolve the sock issue, but it will take some time -- and I'm already late in getting to the activity. I consider proceeding with the sock resolution and concocting a lie to explain why I'm late in getting to the activity, but I feel that people would see through the lie -- and in any case, I can't think of a plausible reason as to why I'm late.
There's a re-setting of the scene at this point. It may have something to do with getting the sock situation squared away, but I'm not sure of that.
In any case, I'm in the same gym locker room and -- for whatever reason -- feel just about set to head out for the activity. Somehow or other, the sock situation has been dealt with successfully. To my dismay, I realize that the other guys in the gym have completed the activity and are in the process of showering and getting ready to leave. I can feel the warm dampness from a lot of people taking hot showers. I can smell the soap, but also the aroma of fresh sweat -- which is not unpleasant, as is the acrid smell of stale sweat. So whatever activity/activities have taken place, it was vigorous. Everyone seems to be comfortably and quietly pleased with what has taken place.
So all my anxiety in getting to the activity quickly and worrying about being embarrassed by my socks and so forth has been for naught.
Saturday, April 20, 2019
Thursday, April 18, 2019
Bad Dream 69 -- Morning of 4/18/19
Another end fragment of a dream -- with analysis attached. Deb and I are still on vacation with Frank and J-M:
As my dream is winding up, I am in the presence of a young woman whom I know somewhat. She is pretty and smart and enthusiastic about the world.
Given recent events (that may or may not have happened in this dream...), she has come to a decision: someone needs to state clearly what the alphabet should look like. And that she's just the person to do it.
(Two memories come to mind when thinking about this young lady and her self-assigned task:
(The first is a story by Rudyard Kipling about how the alphabet was created. A young woman early in the history of civilization chats with her dad about creating a written language so that information can be shared that way. And she formulates letters based on what they remind her of. So the letter "S" is declared, since it looks like a snake. And so forth. The copy of the collected stories of Kipling were a favorite read when I was young. And the picture of the young woman intrigued me and fascinated me and made me yearn to meet her, etc. So my "feelings" about this image changed as I got a bit older and a bit older than that. Changes that I really didn't understand at the time. My first "crush."
(The second is a recollection of all the young women currently serving in Congress who have such definite ideas about how our society should be run and what the government should be doing to make that happen. Same kind of energy and determination.)
Anyway, as the dream is about to come to an end, she is dictating -- to the world at large -- how the letter "A" should be formed. ("Three lines, two almost vertical lines the meet at the top for form an angle and a horizontal one touching each line about half-way up." And so forth.) And clearly, she will be marching through the rest of the alphabet.
I am happy for her and her assignment. It's a job that someone should be doing, and having her do it is just fine by me. I feel that there will be "push-back" after she's done, but the important thing is that she's doing it. She may win (i.e., people may adopt her alphabet description) or she may not (so that her plan is rejected) but either way can represent progress forward. So I wish her the very best and hope for her success. But understand that "success" may not be in her future.
ANALYSIS
Since all elements in a dream are me, then clearly this young lady is me as well. Me too. And what occurs to me is that she is my "Anima" -- the feminine part of who I am. The feeling part.
And I feel that my emotional self is undergoing a growth spurt -- being ready to express itself in ways that I wouldn't allow years ago. An understanding that the logical explanation of the Universe is not the only way to see things -- and in fact it can obscure a deeper and better truth.
So new definitions are called for -- and she's just the entity to do it!
Postscript: I just did a Google search for the pictures of the young lady from the Kipling story. Found them. And looking at them made me happy and wistful and euphoric and needful all over again. Plus ca change...
As my dream is winding up, I am in the presence of a young woman whom I know somewhat. She is pretty and smart and enthusiastic about the world.
Given recent events (that may or may not have happened in this dream...), she has come to a decision: someone needs to state clearly what the alphabet should look like. And that she's just the person to do it.
(Two memories come to mind when thinking about this young lady and her self-assigned task:
(The first is a story by Rudyard Kipling about how the alphabet was created. A young woman early in the history of civilization chats with her dad about creating a written language so that information can be shared that way. And she formulates letters based on what they remind her of. So the letter "S" is declared, since it looks like a snake. And so forth. The copy of the collected stories of Kipling were a favorite read when I was young. And the picture of the young woman intrigued me and fascinated me and made me yearn to meet her, etc. So my "feelings" about this image changed as I got a bit older and a bit older than that. Changes that I really didn't understand at the time. My first "crush."
(The second is a recollection of all the young women currently serving in Congress who have such definite ideas about how our society should be run and what the government should be doing to make that happen. Same kind of energy and determination.)
Anyway, as the dream is about to come to an end, she is dictating -- to the world at large -- how the letter "A" should be formed. ("Three lines, two almost vertical lines the meet at the top for form an angle and a horizontal one touching each line about half-way up." And so forth.) And clearly, she will be marching through the rest of the alphabet.
I am happy for her and her assignment. It's a job that someone should be doing, and having her do it is just fine by me. I feel that there will be "push-back" after she's done, but the important thing is that she's doing it. She may win (i.e., people may adopt her alphabet description) or she may not (so that her plan is rejected) but either way can represent progress forward. So I wish her the very best and hope for her success. But understand that "success" may not be in her future.
ANALYSIS
Since all elements in a dream are me, then clearly this young lady is me as well. Me too. And what occurs to me is that she is my "Anima" -- the feminine part of who I am. The feeling part.
And I feel that my emotional self is undergoing a growth spurt -- being ready to express itself in ways that I wouldn't allow years ago. An understanding that the logical explanation of the Universe is not the only way to see things -- and in fact it can obscure a deeper and better truth.
So new definitions are called for -- and she's just the entity to do it!
Postscript: I just did a Google search for the pictures of the young lady from the Kipling story. Found them. And looking at them made me happy and wistful and euphoric and needful all over again. Plus ca change...
Wednesday, April 17, 2019
Bad Dream 68 -- Morning of 4/17/19
This is the "tail end" of a lengthy -- almost Dickensian -- dream that I can't remember at all...
(This dream took place while Deb and I were on vacation with two friends: Frank and Jean-Marie. I didn't bother to mention this in my post-dream write-up.)
In my dream, I am driving away from... whatever the rest of the dream was all about. I am actually doing the driving but I am accompanied by an unrecognizable. I feel pretty good leaving the whatever, but a bit anxious as well. Maybe as if not all issues that I'm leaving behind have been thoroughly dealt with.
As I drive, I look in my rear view mirror and see the "scene" that I'm leaving (which I can't possibly describe now) slowly grow smaller and farther away in the distance.
Suddenly, there is a loud knocking coming from the back of my vehicle (which is shaped like a small SUV or a station wagon). It is a rapping of knuckles against auto glass -- a rather unmistakable sound. It seems to be coming from the back window, but I can't tell whether the knocker is inside the vehicle or holding onto something outside my vehicle and is driving along with us. Five insistent raps. I look in my rear view mirror and see something moving at the back of my vehicle which seems to be inside, but I can't be absolutely sure.
Then there is a second set of five insistent raps -- that seem to be louder and more insistent.
I think there is a third set of raps which is even more insistent and is "loud enough" in my dream that it wakes me up with a start. Really wakes me up, not just dream wakes me up. The clock says it's 2:45 or so in the morning. I look over at Deb to confirm that she's all right. She is. I look around the rest of the room and everything seems to be normal. I go downstairs and confirm that all the doors are locked. I go outside and confirm that the car is okay. It is. I look at the bottom of the door to where Frank and J-M are sleeping, but there's no light there. So there doesn't seem to be an issue anywhere throughout the house or driveway.
After everyone is up, I confirm that everything is okay.
ANALYSIS
It may mean something that I have "suggested" that we drive down to Pea Island this morning to do some birding. And find the Blind that will allow us to do so. J-M thought that my asking for a 5:00 departure was unreasonable and she said so. We negotiated a 5:30 departure. I don't know how that might be related to the dream, but I thought I would mention it so I don't lose that information.
But dreams often play with words. And it's also the case that, when I wake up at 2:45, I have a pretty severe case of indigestion -- and I take one of my "candy" Alka-Seltzer pills. My thought is that the dream may have a play on "gas" (my digestive situation) and "glass" where the sound of the rapping is coming from.
That's all I got.
(This dream took place while Deb and I were on vacation with two friends: Frank and Jean-Marie. I didn't bother to mention this in my post-dream write-up.)
In my dream, I am driving away from... whatever the rest of the dream was all about. I am actually doing the driving but I am accompanied by an unrecognizable. I feel pretty good leaving the whatever, but a bit anxious as well. Maybe as if not all issues that I'm leaving behind have been thoroughly dealt with.
As I drive, I look in my rear view mirror and see the "scene" that I'm leaving (which I can't possibly describe now) slowly grow smaller and farther away in the distance.
Suddenly, there is a loud knocking coming from the back of my vehicle (which is shaped like a small SUV or a station wagon). It is a rapping of knuckles against auto glass -- a rather unmistakable sound. It seems to be coming from the back window, but I can't tell whether the knocker is inside the vehicle or holding onto something outside my vehicle and is driving along with us. Five insistent raps. I look in my rear view mirror and see something moving at the back of my vehicle which seems to be inside, but I can't be absolutely sure.
Then there is a second set of five insistent raps -- that seem to be louder and more insistent.
I think there is a third set of raps which is even more insistent and is "loud enough" in my dream that it wakes me up with a start. Really wakes me up, not just dream wakes me up. The clock says it's 2:45 or so in the morning. I look over at Deb to confirm that she's all right. She is. I look around the rest of the room and everything seems to be normal. I go downstairs and confirm that all the doors are locked. I go outside and confirm that the car is okay. It is. I look at the bottom of the door to where Frank and J-M are sleeping, but there's no light there. So there doesn't seem to be an issue anywhere throughout the house or driveway.
After everyone is up, I confirm that everything is okay.
ANALYSIS
It may mean something that I have "suggested" that we drive down to Pea Island this morning to do some birding. And find the Blind that will allow us to do so. J-M thought that my asking for a 5:00 departure was unreasonable and she said so. We negotiated a 5:30 departure. I don't know how that might be related to the dream, but I thought I would mention it so I don't lose that information.
But dreams often play with words. And it's also the case that, when I wake up at 2:45, I have a pretty severe case of indigestion -- and I take one of my "candy" Alka-Seltzer pills. My thought is that the dream may have a play on "gas" (my digestive situation) and "glass" where the sound of the rapping is coming from.
That's all I got.
Friday, April 12, 2019
Bad Dream 67 -- Morning of 4/12/19
In my dream, I am sitting at a table roughly akin to a picnic table, but a good deal rougher. I am in a nondescript room and can't see walls or ceiling. I am sitting on a bench rather like the bench associated with a picnic table.
The only other "person" in my dream is sitting directly across from me. He is wearing a hooded robe which makes it impossible to see his face. It is the image of the classic Death figure. I'm not afraid of him and I don't feel he is here to do me any harm.
In my right hand, which sits on or just above the table a bit to my side of the middle of the table, is a scroll. I lift my hand and extend the scroll towards the other figure. Mirroring my movement exactly, he extends his right hand towards me -- and it hold a scroll as well. It is obvious that the intent of all this is to exchange the two scrolls -- which we do.
My "Aha"
Very soon after I woke, I felt firmly that the robed figure was my Unconscious -- and the movement we made was an exchange of awarenesses (or something like that).
This character was quite different from the unidentifiables that show up in my dreams from time to time. Human figures that seem to have a knitted head covering that completely hid their faces. (I've attributed these figures to be "placeholders" -- someone just to occupy a place without entering into the narrative of the dream.) I still couldn't see the face of the character across the table from me, but I felt he or I could easily pull back the hood and expose his face if that seemed appropriate.
I was handing him the story of my waking moments -- my experiences, my thoughts, my feelings. And in return, he was handing me a written document describing how my Unconscious responded to all that.
So I think of the dream as being a confirmation of this "deal": I would continue to experience things and bring that information to my sleeping self and my Unconscious would respond to those things in an effort to support me.
Why now for this dream? Possibly because my colonoscopy yesterday turned out so well. I had been concerned about that because I had experienced a month-long bout of constipation -- during which stool softeners and laxatives weren't being very helpful. As if there was some other major blockage in my intestinal tract.
Nope!
The only other "person" in my dream is sitting directly across from me. He is wearing a hooded robe which makes it impossible to see his face. It is the image of the classic Death figure. I'm not afraid of him and I don't feel he is here to do me any harm.
In my right hand, which sits on or just above the table a bit to my side of the middle of the table, is a scroll. I lift my hand and extend the scroll towards the other figure. Mirroring my movement exactly, he extends his right hand towards me -- and it hold a scroll as well. It is obvious that the intent of all this is to exchange the two scrolls -- which we do.
My "Aha"
Very soon after I woke, I felt firmly that the robed figure was my Unconscious -- and the movement we made was an exchange of awarenesses (or something like that).
This character was quite different from the unidentifiables that show up in my dreams from time to time. Human figures that seem to have a knitted head covering that completely hid their faces. (I've attributed these figures to be "placeholders" -- someone just to occupy a place without entering into the narrative of the dream.) I still couldn't see the face of the character across the table from me, but I felt he or I could easily pull back the hood and expose his face if that seemed appropriate.
I was handing him the story of my waking moments -- my experiences, my thoughts, my feelings. And in return, he was handing me a written document describing how my Unconscious responded to all that.
So I think of the dream as being a confirmation of this "deal": I would continue to experience things and bring that information to my sleeping self and my Unconscious would respond to those things in an effort to support me.
Why now for this dream? Possibly because my colonoscopy yesterday turned out so well. I had been concerned about that because I had experienced a month-long bout of constipation -- during which stool softeners and laxatives weren't being very helpful. As if there was some other major blockage in my intestinal tract.
Nope!
Tuesday, April 9, 2019
Bad Dream 66 -- Morning of 4/9/19
This is the "tail end" of a much longer and involved dream. I'm having considerably involved dreams like this lately and when I wake up I look forward to writing them out. But I can't seem to get anything down on paper in time to recall them later. But anyway:
In my dream, I am in some sort of motorized vehicle -- large car, most likely, but maybe a bus -- with a considerable number of other people. There's excitement running all over the place about some kind of astronomical event that's about to happen some time in the next few days. The folks I'm with will be watching this event from different places around the country.
I am handed a map of the USA with just the outlines of the states. There are initials penciled in all over the map -- and I understand that these are the initials of folks who are supposed to be in these places when the event (whatever it is) takes place. But it is to happen sometime very soon.
I find my initials on the map and it means I'm supposed to be in Arkansas. I'm supposed to write a short something on the map. That "something" will somehow confirm my participation in this population dispersal. I try to write it out, but it's always blurred or my pen/pencil slips or something else goes wrong. So my short written something is in jeopardy. (I'm not clear as to whether I ever get it written down clearly.)
But I have this outstanding question: "How am I supposed to get to Arkansas in time for the event?" I understand that it could only be driven to from where we are if I/we start immediately. I might catch a flight, but I don't know whether I have adequate funds, I have no idea where there's a nearby airport, and even flying might not get me there in time.
No one else in the vehicle seems worried about getting to their designated spots on time. Just me. And no one seems interested in helping me figure out a plan to get to Arkansas.
In my dream, I am in some sort of motorized vehicle -- large car, most likely, but maybe a bus -- with a considerable number of other people. There's excitement running all over the place about some kind of astronomical event that's about to happen some time in the next few days. The folks I'm with will be watching this event from different places around the country.
I am handed a map of the USA with just the outlines of the states. There are initials penciled in all over the map -- and I understand that these are the initials of folks who are supposed to be in these places when the event (whatever it is) takes place. But it is to happen sometime very soon.
I find my initials on the map and it means I'm supposed to be in Arkansas. I'm supposed to write a short something on the map. That "something" will somehow confirm my participation in this population dispersal. I try to write it out, but it's always blurred or my pen/pencil slips or something else goes wrong. So my short written something is in jeopardy. (I'm not clear as to whether I ever get it written down clearly.)
But I have this outstanding question: "How am I supposed to get to Arkansas in time for the event?" I understand that it could only be driven to from where we are if I/we start immediately. I might catch a flight, but I don't know whether I have adequate funds, I have no idea where there's a nearby airport, and even flying might not get me there in time.
No one else in the vehicle seems worried about getting to their designated spots on time. Just me. And no one seems interested in helping me figure out a plan to get to Arkansas.
Friday, April 5, 2019
Bad Dream 65 -- Morning of 4/5/19
In my dream, I am standing in a fairly large room which is located fairly high above the surrounding ground
TALL BUILDING -- ACOUSTIC TILE -- OFFICE-LIKE
MANY OTHER PEOPLE MILLING AROUND
I HAVE SHOTGUN, DON'T PLAN ON SHOOTING IT BUT HAVE IT TO "MAKE A POINT" NOT THREATENING ANYONE. NO ONE CARES ABOUT MY GUN.
THEN I SEE SOMEONE ELSE CARRYING A SHOTGUN AND HIS INTENTION MAY NOT BE AS PEACEFUL AS MINE. I DECIDE TO SLINK AWAY RATHER THAN GETTING BLAMED FOR WHATEVER HE HAS IN MIND.
IN VEHICLE AFTER LEAVING BUILDING. I "BREAK DOWN" SHOTGUN BY SEPARATING BARRELS FROM STOCK. PLACE BOTH ON A SEAT BEHIND ME.
TALL BUILDING -- ACOUSTIC TILE -- OFFICE-LIKE
MANY OTHER PEOPLE MILLING AROUND
I HAVE SHOTGUN, DON'T PLAN ON SHOOTING IT BUT HAVE IT TO "MAKE A POINT" NOT THREATENING ANYONE. NO ONE CARES ABOUT MY GUN.
THEN I SEE SOMEONE ELSE CARRYING A SHOTGUN AND HIS INTENTION MAY NOT BE AS PEACEFUL AS MINE. I DECIDE TO SLINK AWAY RATHER THAN GETTING BLAMED FOR WHATEVER HE HAS IN MIND.
IN VEHICLE AFTER LEAVING BUILDING. I "BREAK DOWN" SHOTGUN BY SEPARATING BARRELS FROM STOCK. PLACE BOTH ON A SEAT BEHIND ME.
Thursday, April 4, 2019
Bad Dream 64 -- Morning of 4/4/19
In my dream, I am in some kind of secluded space -- possibly subterranean -- and feel alone. I'm not worried or frightened, but I know I've never been here before. Soon afterwards, someone comes towards me -- and it turns out to be my doppelganger.
It's me alright, but it's a me that has been removed/isolated from the world "above." We chat briefly and then the scene shifts and we find ourselves in a normal, everyday environment out on a street or lawn or somesuch. I am explaining some of the basics of modern living to the other me, and he seems to be taking it all in pretty well. I think he asks a couple of questions about issues related to living in this far-more-complex world compared to where he has been. They're good questions and show that he is tracking well on the subjects at hand. I see the challenges that confront this other me, but also the opportunities to grow and experience life in this much fuller environment. I feel good for him/me and look forward to providing whatever support I can to help him accomplish/learn/experience whatever it is he chooses to do.
The dream shifts, and I am back in the secluded space where we first met -- or someplace very similar. I walk forward a while, looking for this other me. And I find him/me.
I/he has hanged himself.
I AM WALKING AWAY FROM THE NEW OPENINGS -- A CHANCE TO REVISIT MY EARLIER, MORE NAIVE SELF AND THEN MOVE FORWARD
OR! I HAVEN'T BEEN PLAYING ENOUGH ATTENTION TO MY DREAMS -- HAVEN'T LOGGED ANY IN A WHILE. CONNECTION WILL WITHER IF I DON'T KEEP CLOSE TO MY UNCONSCIOUS.
It's me alright, but it's a me that has been removed/isolated from the world "above." We chat briefly and then the scene shifts and we find ourselves in a normal, everyday environment out on a street or lawn or somesuch. I am explaining some of the basics of modern living to the other me, and he seems to be taking it all in pretty well. I think he asks a couple of questions about issues related to living in this far-more-complex world compared to where he has been. They're good questions and show that he is tracking well on the subjects at hand. I see the challenges that confront this other me, but also the opportunities to grow and experience life in this much fuller environment. I feel good for him/me and look forward to providing whatever support I can to help him accomplish/learn/experience whatever it is he chooses to do.
The dream shifts, and I am back in the secluded space where we first met -- or someplace very similar. I walk forward a while, looking for this other me. And I find him/me.
I/he has hanged himself.
I AM WALKING AWAY FROM THE NEW OPENINGS -- A CHANCE TO REVISIT MY EARLIER, MORE NAIVE SELF AND THEN MOVE FORWARD
OR! I HAVEN'T BEEN PLAYING ENOUGH ATTENTION TO MY DREAMS -- HAVEN'T LOGGED ANY IN A WHILE. CONNECTION WILL WITHER IF I DON'T KEEP CLOSE TO MY UNCONSCIOUS.
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