In my dream, I am "campaigning" quite hard to win the affection of a woman. I have a cadre of support people in this campaign. They're all rooting for me to be successful.
The woman is reminiscent of several I have known through the years and have been infatuated (or in love, if you prefer) with. The two principal names are Mary Maguire and Allison Prettyman. I've certainly had a crush on a number of other female persons, but these are more prominent in my mind...
I am in the proximity of this lady, who has her own retinue. She is located on higher ground than me and my people -- and they are residing in tents. The image that comes to mind about our physical locality is the wall around the old courthouse on the Market Street side -- but maybe five feet tall or a little less. I see her wearing a diaphanous garment that might be a robe, as it seems to flow open as she walks. You can see what is possibly a brassiere or swimsuit top or similar garment -- also white -- underneath the robe.
And everyone in the dream -- my people, her people, everyone -- knows how ardent I am about wooing her.
There's something in the dream about my playing a musical instrument, which is either a piano or a violin. Don't recall. But playing the instrument was part of my campaign plan.
I leave my "real" self in the dream for a few moments and am present ("fly on the wall" sort of thing...) in her tent, talking to her advisers. I don't think they're in favor of or opposed to my plea -- they just want to know what to do.
Her words to the retinue about me are -- I was going to say "harsh," but I think the right word is "blunt." She never wants to see me again. Not a hard feeling, necessarily, she just has nothing to say to me and there's nothing she wants to hear from me.
So she's firm on this subject -- and I know her well enough to know that pretty much settles the thought of winning her. But even so, I'm not going to give up. It's painful to be in this position, but I don't see any way out.
Ref: the words to the song "Greensleeves"
Analysis
I find myself in need of intimacy. I think Deb is terrific and I feel fortunate to be married to her. But so much of the time, I feel as if we are the best of friends. Which is good. But not enough.
We went to a marriage counselor several years ago, and I thought we were treading the ground we needed to -- to enhance our marriage in a way I wanted and needed. But so much of the burden of what needed to change lay with Deb. It's not surprising that I felt this way, but the therapist seemed to think the same by the questions she was asking. And I'm not surprised that all that talk and potential openings went nowhere. That I might be asking Deb to be something/someone she isn't. No Good Guys. No Bad Guys.
The woman in the diaphanous gown. The fabric is practically see-through. You can see the real her underneath her clothes. She speaks honestly and directly.
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