The End of the Day

Well, it's Sunday evening and it's been a pretty nice day.  Slept well, ate well, feel well.  We had a very fine Meeting for Worship this morning, with several people giving Vocal Ministry -- including me.  The First Day School prepared our Social Hour treats, and they were clearly excited and pleased to have done such.  And we had a new visitor who may well become active in the life of our Meeting.  She seemed to be in a perfect place to settle into Quakerism...  

I got to work on a set of ropes for a magic trick for Ann, Bill Pierce's little girl.  (She was fascinated with the trick when I showed it to her and she learned to do it remarkably quickly.  It will be interesting to see if she's still interested in the trick by the time I give her the rope set.)

But.

I feel I've missed something.  And if I have, it's something that I've missed for a very long time.  Quite possibly something I've never had.  Something that possibly I never will.  

And that's a feeling of satisfaction and gratitude.  As if I've lived this day to its fullest potential.  Maybe "squeezed it dry."  But maybe that's not the best way to look at it.  

My feeling as I sit here at the computer watching the last rays of the setting sun is that it's just another day gone by.  And at my age, another day putting me closer to The End of it All for Me.  

I don't know what to do about this.  This empty feeling that I may have let something slide past me.  Something that I might have grabbed.  

I feel that I'm not alone in this feeling.  And maybe I should feel some gratitude that at least I am feeling that I'm missing something.  

And maybe just the fact that I'm feeling this way now suggests that I can be on the way to doing something about it.  Or understanding something about it.  

I would like to treat each day as a priceless jewel -- unique in all the world.  And carefully place that jewel beside a long line of other priceless jewels.  Each of which is different.  Each of which is wonderful.