Bad Dream 149

I believe I've found a pattern in my recent dreaming that ties into my Blood Pressure Issues.  (FYI, my BP has bounced between the 150's and the 120's -- with the balance of the readings being in the middle to high end of that range.  I'm currently taking five different medications, none of which seem to be pulling the BP down...)

A couple of recent dreams have found me walking about in the downtown area of a city, looking at tall buildings that don't appear to have any signage.  There's nothing that feels sinister about this, but nothing that helps me find any recognizable places.  Dream #148 typifies this.

In this morning's dream, I am a passenger in a car with two delightful friends -- Li;sa and Gus -- and we're driving to some event which is probably musical.  It's mid-morning.  

I remember that I have an important appointment at a place in pretty much the opposite direction of how we're travelling.  The appointment is either at 10:00 this morning or 2:00 this afternoon -- I can't recall which.  I mention this to Gus and Li;sa and -- understandably -- Gus is a bit peeved.  Why didn't I tell him before we left?  Can't you remember or figure out whether it's 2:00 or 10:00?  We could be back in time for 2:00 PM but not 10:00 AM...

What these dreams have in common is "Lost."  Lost directions -- physical.  Lost directions -- personal.  Lost time.  

I feel that I've entered a new phase of life with plenty of opportunities and no sense of direction.  I've pretty much cut off connection to the Meeting and the School Board.  I'm still swimming in cardboard boxes and it doesn't seem to matter how much stuff I give away or throw away, there's still far too much stuff.  And Deb's condition -- her hearing, her mental capacities -- what's really going on there?  What does the future hold for her?  And what will I need to do to hold up my end of things?

Anxiety?  Oh yes.  Reflected in BP?  I think so.  Good answers?  Not forthcoming.

I'm starting a search for a talk therapist -- trying to straighten out what's really wrong and what I can do about it.  

Wish me luck.